Hey ladies, this one is for you. This is for all of you who flip through Instagram, click through snapchats, or scroll down Facebook; this is for all of you who are stuck in the comparison trap. You see, I got myself stuck in the comparison trap just yesterday. I was scrolling through Instagram, a chocolate chip cookie in one hand and my phone in the other, admiring all my pretty friends in pretty bikinis on pretty beaches on their pretty awesome spring breaks. I looked down at my own body, realizing that the cookie in my hand certainly wasn’t my first and it was the only thing I had really eaten that day, besides the chicken salad sandwich that was my lunch. Needless to day, my couch potato body was not the same as any of their bikini bodies.
I was stuck. Officially stuck. As I refreshed my page, I felt myself getting stuck-er (so stuck I have to make up a word for emphasis). I was mad that they were so much skinner than I, that they were so confident in themselves that they flaunted it. I was jealous; first because of the previous explanations and second that I was playing couch potato while they were in tropical places. I was sad, I didn’t feel like could ever be as pretty as them. If that’s not stuck, I don’t know what is.
So what did I do next? I realized I was certainly not the only one thinking and feeling these things. I realized that, while these feelings feel real and viable, they are lies. Then I realized that maybe, just maybe there might be someone else out there that might feel like these feelings are real but don’t know that they are lies. So here I am, freshly unstuck from the comparison trap, hoping to maybe help someone else get unstuck.
First off, let’s decipher the lies from the truth. Lie: You are not skinny enough, pretty enough, fit enough. Truth: You are enough. See Luke 12:6-7. Literally in the Bible, Luke tells us that sparrows are basically sold in bulk for two pennies, yet God sees and knows each of them. That’s like Costco seeing, naming, and knowing each and every one of the paper towel rolls that is sold from their stores. It’s crazy to think about. The verse goes on to say that not only are the hairs on your head literally numbered, you are worth more than many sparrows. So, yeah, you’re more than enough. Lie: My weight determines who I am and who I’ll be and who will want to be with me. Truth: Weight is literally just a number. You’ll have a different number on Mars and a different one on the moon and an even different-er one on Jupiter. See 1 Samuel 16:7. You could go anywhere and that number could change, but who you are will no change whether you are in this world or another. Who you are determines your future, not the number on the scale.
So, you know the truth. You are enough. You are fearfully and wonderfully made (check Psalm 139:14 ). What’s next? Here are a few simple things that have helped me get unstuck.
- Surround yourself with truth. If you’re like me, you’ll crack open that Bible of yours and soak in the truth. Or put on some praise music and get lost in some of that beauty. Whatever floats your boat, do it. Don’t let lies become truth. Run after the truth, even when your stuck (I know—that sounds a bit redundant, just go with it).
- Compliment someone. The minute you scroll through the gram and find yourself getting trapped, compliment someone. Comment something uplifting, slide into those DMs, double tap the heck out of those cute photos. Don’t get jealous, get compliment-y.
- Remember who you are (sounds like a Disney reference, right?). My mom has always told me this, “it’s about who you are, not what you know.” This extends to this pesky body thing. It’s about who you are, not what your weight is. It’s about who you are, not what your size is. It’s about who you are, not how on fleek your eyebrows are. It’s about who you are, not [insert pointless, comparison trap lie here].
“Then Jesus said to his disciples: ‘Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. For life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?’” (Luke 12:22-26). I seriously imagine Jesus with a pair of sick Ray Bans, dropping a gold mic as he walks away from his speechless disciples. If this passage doesn’t sum up literally everything, I don’t know what does.
You are fearfully and wonderfully made. You are more than enough. You are loved, cherished, and adored by the Father. You are more than your jean size or the number on the scale. If God knows every sparrow that is sold and takes care of the ravens, why would he not value and care for you? Your precious self is worth everything to him. While he just spoke light and dark into existence, commanded trees to grow and animals to roam, he created you. He didn’t just speak you into existence, he knitted you together. He knows you by name, has numbered the hairs on your head, knows every beat of your heart. There is no such thing as an unworthy person under the blinding and beautiful love of a worthy God.